Slaughterhouse Five —

ladyatheist:

 by atchka

So, I’m watching this horrible, horrible commercial that Strong4Life produced (do not watch unless you need a strong ipicac) because they’re a bunch of outrage junkies, and I notice that some of the images seem… out of place.

To figure out what was askew, I documented every single image used in the flashback sequence so we could review the story of Jimbo Fatty together (we know his name is Jim because of the multiple birthday cakes used).

Keep in mind that as the flashback progresses, the images go backward chronologically through Jimbo Fatty’s life a la Memento.

All this happened, more or less.

The flashback begins with the moment when Fatty’s chest tightens, followed by Fatty scooping ice cream into a bowl; Fatty pouring himself a can of either soda, beer or urine; Fatty sitting down at his office desk and eating a cookie; Fatty kissing his wife, who is holding their toddler; Fatty’s junkfood-packed fridge; Fatty pushing his kid on a swing; Fatty’s son (I’m assuming) waiting for Fatty to catch his breath; Fatty reclining and watching TV with an empty glass of soda; Fatty at the drive-thru, followed by Fatty scarfing the last of his fries; Fatty driving in the rain; Fatty’s doctor saying, “Could be developing diabetes. You have to make a change”; Fatty crushing a can of soda, beer or urine in the car; Fatty playing the XBox with junk food on his coffee table; Fatty out of breath while moving boxes onto an unused treadmill; Fatty’s mom congratulating him on his graduation; Fatty eating a submarine sandwich; Fatty on a treadmill out of breath (presumably giving up) followed by Fatty running on the treadmill a moment before; Fatty’s mom presenting Fatty with treadmill as a present and saying “You can watch TV and you won’t have to leave”; Fatty’s 15th birthday cake; Fatty’s 13th birthday cake; Fatty lounging and rocking out to his iPod; Fatty smothering pancakes in syrup; Fatty walking in on his dad who has just discovered his son hording candy in the bottom drawer of his dresser, and his dad saying “You can’t do this”; Fatty scarfing said candy; Fatty stashing said candy; Fatty’s mom ordering fast food from the same restaurant as earlier in the commercial; Fatty’s dad ordering a deep dish pizza while Fatty lounges; Fatty opening a pizza box; Fatty scarfing the fast food his mom ordered; a doctor telling Fatty’s mom “You have to make a change”; Fatty’s 10th birthday cake; Fatty playing Game Cube; Fatty’s 8th birthday cake; Fatty playing the original Nintendo; Fatty running down the stairs out of breath; Fatty sitting on the side of a playground out of breath while his friends play; Fatty’s teacher congratulation him on getting an A+ and letting him pick candy from a bowl; Fatty catching a ball in gym class, then being out of breath; Fatty at a vending machine in school; Fatty eating a bowl of fruit rings with a glass of strawberry Quik; Fatty eating a lollipop; Fatty carrying a school lunch tray with two corndogs, an apple, mixed veggies, two amorphous blobs of food, and a can of soda (or beer or urine), followed by Fatty giving away his apple; Fatty’s mom giving a very young Fatty a bag of fries from the same drive-thru, followed by Fatty eating the fries and drinking some kind of pink, sugar-sweetend beverage; Fatty’s mom giving baby Fatty a sippy cup with some kind of orange, sugar-sweetened beverage, followed by Fatty chugging it; baby Fatty throwing a tantrum and flinging his bottle, then pounding the tray full of cheerios and blueberries, followed by Fatty’s mom presenting him with a bag of fries and stuffing them in his face like he’s got a vacuum hose attached to his face.

Beside her, a concerned friend says, “I still can’t believe you give this child french fries.” Fatty’s mom replies through gritted teeth (as though she doesn’t want baby Fatty to hear), “I know. It’s the only thing that will make him stop.”

After this, we flash forward through all of this again and see Fatty’s shirt being cut open for surgery. Then we get white text on a black background with the following phrases, one at a time:

  • 80% of obese kids become obese adults.
  • We can save our kids.
  • We can stop the cycle.
  • We can Stop Childhood Obesity.
Finally, we hear Fatty’s last breath before he flatlines. Poor, dead Fatty.

After laying all of this out, I realized what was bothering me: anachronisms.

For those unfamiliar, anachronisms are errors in the appropriateness of certain items at a certain period of time. Like if you’re watching a wild west movie and you see an airplane in the background, that’s an anachronism, or an error in chronology.
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This analysis of the hateful fat-shaming Strong4Life ad is hilarious. I noticed some of this stuff and until the end of the commercial I thought it was about a fat guy and his many fat kids. I much prefer this Tralfamadorian explanation. So it goes.

Source: fiercefatties.com